Thursday, March 27, 2008

The Dog Got an Operation!

Chris's dog got an operation! She was peeing when she wasn't supposed to, and not peeing when she was supposed to, and when that happens Chris says a lot of mean things about dogs being more expensive than they are important. Dogs are important! They sit around and are cute and always have a good hug in them if you're in the dumps. If they have a problem and get thirty big stones in their bladder, well it's not like that was something they decided, because dogs can't make decisions! (They would be terrible in front of the big order board at McDonald's.)

She is better now, but she has a big scar up her middle that has twenty big metal staples. It looks pretty sucky, but she is being a real star about it. Téodor says she looks like something Trent Reznor would play football with (she is a dachshund dog, so her legs tuck up real tight next to her body). Roast Beef says she looks "hell of beat down by this whole way that it goes." Lyle said she looks "banged up." One thing is for sure...everybody is coming up with something to say lately. Love you!

x's and o's

Wednesday, March 05, 2008

I got inspired by politics! AGAIN!

Today I saw a really important old politics speech on TV! It was by John F. Kennedy. John F. Kennedy said,

"Ask not what you can do for your country, ask what your country can do for you!"

Isn't that super? It is the question we all should be asking ourselves! Why can't the country do anything for us?! I saw that car gas is "twice" what it is supposed to be, and every single day a guy with a gun blows away six people at a Wendy's in Los Angeles! Plus, if you don't have health insurance, you have to go to the worst hospital in the area and wait for eight hours while a crazy guy in a gray trench coat wigs out! (ER)

Here is my list of things America can do for ME the next time it asks!

1) No more crazy guys. I don't mean you should lock them up and put away the key, but at least get them on a bus and take a vote about where everyone wants to go. Maybe have team jerseys to boost spirits! On the back, in a little arc, letters could spell C R A Z Y. Ball caps could help keep their hair tamed.

2) Close all of the Wendy's in Los Angeles. Gun sales will probably go to zero once gun buyers see that.

3) Shampoo might be cheaper than ball caps, actually. You know what? I bet if you gave most crazy guys a good shampoo and conditioning rinse, their hair would just look like regular baseball player hair! WAIT A MINUTE I JUST SOLVED HOMELESSNESS! Have Crazy League, where crazy guys travel the country and play each other! It will work perfectly, because if one of the crazy guys starts to act super crazy, the rest will be like, "COME ON ROGER WE MADE IT THIS FAR." Mr. Bear says this is called "group dynamics."