Tuesday, September 25, 2007

Dinner was Crummy!

Mr. Bear made dinner and it was pretty crummy! He cooked Pants a Nella, and it was stupid! It was just stupid big bread pieces with not enough lettuce and meat and cheese and DINNER! He said it was from Italy but I say it was from Stupidanada! Stupid bread dinner with crummy not enough meat and cheese! Mr. Bear is gay! Blee bla bloo blee blah bloo dah

[auto-save 08:29:52p]

Oh my gosh I forgot to post this message and I am glad I did! It is maybe two hours later now and I just saw this on the computer screen. I should never have said that about you, Mr. Bear, and I take it all back a hundred percent. Thank you for feeding me waffles with peanut butter after I ran away from the table in sin. Thank you for forgiving my shrieks.


Thursday, September 13, 2007

They showed me how to make Jelly Bellies!

There was a show on TV about how to make Jelly Belly jelly beans! I think I can even make them at home now! All you need is some sugar and a big spinny copper washing machine!

Okay, I got the ingredients. You actually need "gelatine," and I think that's what Jell-O is. You also need lots of sugar, to add to the washing machine a little bit over time! I'll go get it started. Our washing machine is just regular metal, I hope that doesn't make a difference.

Okay, I started the washing machine and poured in the Jell-O. Since the washing machine always tries to shoot out the water it's been using, I put a tennis ball and a bunch of tape over the hose where the water comes out. I also put some apples into the main washing tub, so the Jelly Bellies can be apple flavor. My favorite! (Almost.)


Chris came into the laundry room to sniff and see if he had any underwear he could wear out to a nice dinner, and I guess he stepped in a lot of sticky, "fat" water. I think the machine overflowed? He said it ruined the feet of a lot of old furniture they have in the garage, and that he was also "super pissed-off" ["I am SUPER PISSED OFF! I AM SO PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW!!!"]. He even carefully took a wine bottle from the recycling, walked real slow out to the back yard, and then threw it as hard as he could against a soft hill of dirt. The wine bottle didn't break, so he breathed really loud out of his nose like Rocky and then went inside and sat in the bathroom for twenty-seven minutes. He turned magazine pages, not book pages. (Magazine pages crinkle more, book pages have a good soft sound.)

So much for making jelly beans at home. I have to spend the rest of the night wiping up the garage, and it is pretty crummy in there. I can't even have music, Chris said. (Music might make me happy.)