tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-75120852024-02-21T22:11:56.124-08:00Huuugs!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comBlogger132125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7512085.post-61500336075793222822016-09-02T00:06:00.000-07:002016-09-02T00:06:22.824-07:00Pony ColdadasHello! How are you! Did you know that I love you? I'm not afraid to say it!<br />
<br />
Agree with me that you are wonderful!<br />
<br />
(Did you agree? If not, please start this blog over.)<br />
<br />
My <b>favorite</b> thing today is that I got to eat BBQ Chinese Pork! My <b>second-favorite</b> thing is that I got to see a pregnant lady and think about what an amazing thing a baby really is! (If they are not screaming in a stroller that's parked outside your bedroom window while they change a diaper and you are trying to sleep after nightmares about bugs).<br />
<br />
Ok, so here is today's story from me. I was in the kitchen, and Téodor was making a fancy grown-up drink with a blender. He said it was called a <i>pee-nyah cold-ada</i> (spelling mistakes?), and that it had grown-up alcohol in it, but he let me taste a tiny bit on a spoon anyway. (I was pretty pushy, since I don't think it's cool to keep me out of stuff any more.) It was coco-nutty dee-licious! I decided immediately that I would invent a kid version with no alcohol as soon as I stopped being dizzy and losing my train of thoughts. Here is my result!<br />
<br />
T H E<br />
P O N Y<br />
C O L D A D A<br />
<i>de -=P h i l i p p e=-</i><br />
<i><br /></i>
<i>INGREDIENTS, TO TASTE:</i><br />
Coconut ice cream<br />
Pineapple Jarritos (Mexican soda pop)<br />
Circus peanut decoration<br />
<br />
I don't like to use a blender to make this because blenders are terrifying. So, I just go watch an episode of Brain Games while it all melts together, then I make it fancy with a circus peanut on top. You can make a little performance of rubbing the rim of the glass with the circus peanut and then "squeezing" it before dropping it into the drink — I saw Téodor do this with a lime on his adult one and it totally seemed like something a super-fancy restaurant would do! <br />
<br />
I call it a Pony Coldada because a pony is a baby horse, and this is a drink that is safe for a baby! Although probably not the baby that always screams me awake in the morning. I don't want to say anything bad, but I hope that baby goes to live in a neighborhood with no houses, just long sidewalks through big wide fields where it can scream until forever and a day. <br />
<br />
How are you? Was your summer good? Mine was!<br />
<br />
—Philippe—Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7512085.post-91792157384568392972015-12-24T21:36:00.000-08:002015-12-24T21:37:21.978-08:00What-in-the-doopty!"What-in-the-doopty!"<br />
<div>
<br /></div>
<div>
I'm going to start saying this! It sounds so fun! And no one can mistake it for a cuss. Doopty doesn't sound even close to the f-word! (I don't even like typing that nasty little f! Kids should be allowed to type a different letter to stand for the f.)<br />
<br />
For example, here is something that happened at the house today, and how "What-in-the-doopty!" could have made it better and nicer than the (ª•ª) word! </div>
<div>
<br />
- - -<br />
<br />
LYLE: WHAT-IN-THE-DOOPTY! WHERE'S THE DOOPTYING HALF SANDWICH I BROUGHT HOME FROM ROMANO'S?!<br />
<br />
ME: Do you mean the one with the salami and cheese?<br />
<br />
LYLE: Yeah! If I catch the motherdoopter that took it, I'm gonna [<i>number two</i>] in their face!<br />
<br />
ME: Téodor might have eaten it! He likes those things!<br />
<br />
LYLE: You see him do it, kid?<br />
<br />
ME: Nope!<br />
<br />
LYLE: Good enough for me! [Walks toward Téodor's room] HOPE YOU'RE READY FOR DESSERT, DOOPTYFACE! </div>
<div>
<br />
- - -<br />
<br />
See? So much better! I mean, it was all still mean, and Téodor ended up getting pretty yelled at and having to do push-ups until he couldn't any more and was just lying there with his shirt off almost crying, but with softer words there might not have been so much fear in the air!<br />
<br />
I love you! Merry Christmas! I want candy covered raisins and for all people who are ugly and sad to feel good again! <br />
<br />
Philippe! </div>
Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7512085.post-86380413087896704762013-10-25T02:32:00.000-07:002013-10-25T02:32:09.658-07:00Halloween is just about here!Well, no one could be more excited than me about Halloween, and that is a fact! I don't know how you prove facts, but Lie Bot said that a fact is the difference between Wikipedia and Google. If you know what that means, maybe that is helpful.<br />
<br />
Anyway! I haven't been up to too too much. Just getting ready for Halloween! I am going to be a vampire this year. Téodor said it wasn't "very original" to be a vampire, but who cares? How come a Halloween costume has to be original? Is anything even original any more? A lot of kids have dressed up a lot of times, and probably have tried everything. (Including a horse with a teapot for a head - I just thought of that.)<br />
<br />
(I also just had the idea of a robot with tank tread arms.)<br />
<br />
My costume is all figured out. I'm going to get plastic chomper teeth (just the plain normal kind, not pointy ones...I guess our town made those illegal because somebody got sued?), and instead of a cape (a strangling danger) I'll just wear a white collared shirt (Dracula always wears a white shirt). I can't get my hair to slick back like his because of the direction it grows, so I'll just comb it nicely, with a part. I wasn't really sure what kind of pants Dracula wears...they never show him getting dressed and choosing his pants in the movie, like with one long bony finger pulling them off of his dresser...so I will wear some nice blue dress pants my mom sent me. There you go: Dracula! Mwah! Ha! Ha! Your blood is curdled!<br />
<br />
Uh oh. I feel a number one coming on, and the way things have been going lately, I'm not taking any chances. Bye! Love you a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck!<br />
<br />Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7512085.post-39092229420989037042008-12-16T23:12:00.000-08:002009-04-06T16:26:03.460-07:00Christmas list!Hi everybody! It's Christmas! I already made out my Santa list, and I hope you did too. Here's what I want! I hope it doesn't seem like too much. One of my Thanksgiving wishes was that I would not become a greedy guy.<br /><br />1. A big green block of flower-arranging foam. Chris's mom brought some of this over on accident, and I loved it! It's a green crumbly brick that you can stick stuff into, and they used to use it in flower arrangements. I want to scrape at it with a spoon and make a nice hillside, with paths and maybe a small windey road. I could use tiny dots of toothpaste as sheep, and glue down rows of dark green yarn as crops!<br /><br />2. Asparagus dinner. Asparagus makes your pee smell really funny, and I think it would be great if I ate a bunch of asparagus and used the bathroom right before everybody else had to use it (like after a movie). They would get miffed!<br /><br />(This would not be too mean of a joke because the smell goes away pretty fast and nobody gets dirty.)<br /><br />3. Nachos. I actually want nachos pretty bad, for some reason! I want them with melty restaurant cheese that stays melted, and not the store cheese that is only melty for like ten seconds. I also want them with perfect little chunks of tomato, and black olives, and a "dollop" (?) of sour cream in the middle on the top.<br /><br />4. A hat with a pom-pom on top. I got to see an old-fashioned TV show called The Monkees yesterday morning before everyone woke up, and the main guy had a pom-pom hat! He was the coolest person I have ever seen!<br /><br />I better stop the list here, so it doesn't look like I have the sin of greed. I don't really even think I'll get most of this stuff, but it's cool to dream! I love you!<br /><br /><span style="font-family: courier new;"> _ _</span><br /><span style="font-family: courier new;">_- P I I P E -_</span><br /><span style="font-family: courier new;"> h L P !</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7512085.post-31750226959339588532008-11-29T18:19:00.001-08:002008-11-29T23:42:51.556-08:00Thanks Giving It's Friday!Oh, boy! Téodor made the best Thanksgiving dinner! He let me make all of the rolls into different shapes before he baked them! I made one that looked like a bun, and one that looked like a dumpling, and one that looked just like a "river stone." He let Lyle make the gravy, and Lyle used to work at "a restaurant for gummers who hadda' have gravy on every [cussin'] thing," so you could tell that the gravy really was restaurant-good. It was light brown and had pepper flecks in it, just like in the picture.<br /><br />Here is my list of things I was Thankful for that night! I was hoping we would go around the table and say our thanks, but we didn't, except when people would pass the salt or something, and just say the basic thanks.<br /><br /><span style="font-weight: bold;">PHILIPPE IS THANKFUL FOR!</span><br /><br />1. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Top Ramen</span>. This is my new favorite food in the world! Lyle puts it in a Pyrex with some water and microwaves it before he leaves for work. I can get it out and eat it whenever! I like soy sauce on it, and peanuts, and ham chunks, and black olives. <br /><br />2. <span style="font-weight: bold;">My mom!</span> You always have to be thankful for your mom. I have seen some pretty sad TV shows about moms who are "off the chain" and don't take care of their kids (but maybe they will someday). Anyhow, I don't think my mom was ever "off the chain," even for a second. My mom has always been pretty much "on the chain." I guess that is why I am polite. <br /><br />3. <span style="font-weight: bold;">Udon.</span> This is like fat Top Ramen, so it is even chewier and more fun to eat. Sometimes I wonder if my favorite food would be a noodle as thick as a cucumber, and you just took one bite off of it at a time.<br /><br />4. "<span style="font-weight: bold;">Theory Noodle</span>." Ray told me this is what any noodle you can explain but isn't real yet would be called. I am thankful that my big cucumber-size noodle can maybe be real some day!<br /><br />I Love YouuuUUUUUU!<br /><span style="font-style: italic;"><br /><span style="font-size:78%;">Thank</span> <span style="font-size:130%;">YOUUUU</span><br /><br />Philippe.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7512085.post-21583670278445247682008-10-03T18:47:00.000-07:002008-10-04T00:26:01.750-07:00Lie Bot was around!I just had a pretty weird talk with Lie Bot! I hadn't seen him in a while, but there he was, and since I always think it's a good idea to talk about the weather with someone you aren't sure what to talk about with (it's a trick I learned from this old Ollie and Hardy show where they lift a donkey up to a building), we talked about how it rained for the first time since summer!<br /><br />+ ! + ! + <br /><br />ME: What a lot of weather we've been having lately, Lie Bot!<br /><br />LIE BOT: Indeed, little guy! You keepin' dry? <br /><br />ME: I sure am! (Knocks on wood.) Say, how come we always sleep better when it’s raining?<br /><br />LB: It’s because the humidity makes the air heavier, like a great big blanket that covers us everywhere, like how we felt inside our mothers before we were born. The sound of the rain falling is also like the steady thrum we heard inside their bellies.<br /><br />ME: But you weren't born! You're a robot!<br /><br />LB: The birth of a robot is actually a very misunderstood thing. It's not commonly documented. You see, a very simple robot — not unlike a gelatinous credit card — is suspended in a carbon-rich gel inside something that looks like a small hot water bottle. This casing is slid into a moisture-proof dual-flap bay in the mother and left for five days. Birthing robots have typically escaped cameras, but some grainy footage does exist of them squatting in corners, facing away from the lens, gently sliding the casing back out of themselves. <br /><br />ME: Oh.<br /><br />LB: So, you see, we actually do have mothers. Just not how you would prefer us to have them.<br /><br />ME: Oh, no! I didn't mean that! I want you to be born however you were born! I don't have judgment!<br /><br />LB: It's too late. I <span style="font-style: italic;">felt</span> like you had judgment about me.<br /><br />ME: No! Please don't! <br /><br />LB: Well, I'll see what I can do. It might take six to eight weeks. <br /><br />ME: Okay, I understand, but PLEASE see if it can be faster! <br /><br />LB: I can only do so much, kid. I have to go now. <br /><br />ME: Okay, goodbye! I am very sorry for what I said! <br /><br />LB: I hope that's true. <br /><br />- - - <br /><br />So, I guess I'm on pins and needles until I see him again! I feel pretty bad about saying that he wasn't born. I know that it would really eat me up if people told me that *I* was never born. <br /><br />XOXOX, <br />Philippe.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7512085.post-2442872738871422832008-07-30T15:31:00.000-07:002008-07-30T17:45:42.548-07:00How to make candy?I figured something out! The best guys in the world, like the pioneers and Thomas Edison, didn't wait around for things -- they went and got them! I always want candy, so I decided to try and make my own. I was like, "Somebody cooks candy somewhere, so why can't I cook it here? It's just <span style="font-style: italic;">stuff</span>." If it worked, I would always have a supply of fresh candy, mornin'-'til-night!<br /><br />I decided to start with jelly beans, a pretty basic candy. We had jelly in the fridge, so I put some on a spoon and took a good long look at it. I thought to myself, <span style="font-style: italic;">what would turn this into a jelly bean? </span>The answer was that it needed to be in kind of a hard bean shape. But how?<br /><br />I thought about that problem, too, and decided that the freezer makes things hard. I put a bunch of little jelly nuggets on a plate and put it in the freezer for one hour. My "beans" stuck to the plate really bad and were not candy. I let myself say "rats" and put the plate in the sink.<br /><br />I guess next I will just go ahead and try to make a candy bar. I will pour the wet chocolate into a rectangle space made out of books, and let it get hard. Maybe I will drop some chocolate chips into it. I'll let you know how it goes. I love you.<br /><br />-Philippe!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7512085.post-74425053421978994012008-05-30T18:10:00.000-07:002008-05-30T23:39:49.938-07:00I am Learning about Hobos.I found a web site about hobos! These are little old guys with too long of old brown shoes, who jump on trains and "ride the rails." They are kind of like on a long camping trip, only they can never stop camping, or they will be homeless. They also have their own hobo way of doing stuff. They even have a hobo language! Here are some hobo words that I copied from the web site:<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Frenchy:</span> a French hobo<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">birds:</span> chickens or flying birds<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">rake-rack tavern:</span> a garden shed<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">biscuit shooter:</span> a man so crazy that he shoots his own breakfast<br /><span style="font-style: italic;">finger makin's:</span> any activity done with the fingers<br /><br />I would like to be a hobo some day, but it looks like they can be kind of dangerous sometimes. Lots of people write that true hobos will only stick their middle finger up during really, really bad times, when they are "in a corner" and can't help it, but some also say that a few hobos can fly "off the handle" and stick their middle finger up even when just meeting you. I would need to learn karate, in case of a hobo like that.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7512085.post-56914615404499065152008-04-27T22:36:00.000-07:002008-04-27T22:51:14.211-07:00"French Fries was the case they gave me."(That is kind of a quote from a song that Ray plays in his car when he drives up to our house.)<br /><br />I guess I'm just lucky, because whenever anybody goes out in the car to get fast food for the house, I usually get most of the french fries from all the meals! Lyle gets his big Ultimate Cheeseburger, and Téodor gets his Jumbo Jack, and Mr. Bear gets his coffee and toasted bun, and I always get almost all of their fries! They always eat one or two to be polite, but then they pretty much always ask me if I would like the rest. This is super-good because I never have any money ever to get a hamburger, but I still get to be with the gang. Boy are things good around here! Roast Beef is out in his white car right now getting McDonald's for everybody, and I can't wait for my fries! I don't want to have an ego but I am going to get my special fork out ahead of time so I can twirl the fries around it like spaghetti! This dish is called Spaghetti Philippo! French fries on a fork, twirled around. Love you XOUnknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7512085.post-8615136949606697622008-03-27T14:50:00.001-07:002008-03-27T15:16:33.177-07:00The Dog Got an Operation!Chris's dog got an operation! She was peeing when she <span style="font-weight: bold;">wasn't</span> supposed to, and not peeing when she <span style="font-weight: bold;">was </span>supposed to, and when that happens Chris says a lot of mean things about dogs being more expensive than they are important. Dogs are important! They sit around and are cute and always have a good hug in them if you're in the dumps. If they have a problem and get thirty big stones in their bladder, well it's not like that was something they decided, because dogs can't make decisions! (They would be terrible in front of the big order board at McDonald's.)<br /><br />She is better now, but she has a big scar up her middle that has twenty big metal staples. It looks pretty sucky, but she is being a real star about it. Téodor says she looks like something Trent Reznor would play football with (she is a dachshund dog, so her legs tuck up real tight next to her body). Roast Beef says she looks "hell of beat down by this whole way that it goes." Lyle said she looks "banged up." One thing is for sure...everybody is coming up with something to say lately. Love you!<br /><br />x's and o's<br />PhilippeUnknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7512085.post-16806584602790365002008-03-05T06:26:00.000-08:002008-03-05T01:33:51.402-08:00I got inspired by politics! AGAIN!Today I saw a really important old politics speech on TV! It was by John F. Kennedy. John F. Kennedy said,<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">"Ask not what you can do for your country, ask what your country can do for you!" </span><br /><br />Isn't that super? It is the question we all should be asking ourselves! Why can't the country do anything for us?! I saw that car gas is "twice" what it is supposed to be, and every single day a guy with a gun blows away six people at a Wendy's in Los Angeles! Plus, if you don't have health insurance, you have to go to the worst hospital in the area and wait for eight hours while a crazy guy in a gray trench coat wigs out! (ER)<br /><br />Here is my list of things America can do for ME the next time it asks!<br /><br />1) No more crazy guys. I don't mean you should lock them up and put away the key, but at least get them on a bus and take a vote about where everyone wants to go. Maybe have team jerseys to boost spirits! On the back, in a little arc, letters could spell C R A Z Y. Ball caps could help keep their hair tamed. <br /><br />2) Close all of the Wendy's in Los Angeles. Gun sales will probably go to zero once gun buyers see that.<br /><br />3) Shampoo might be cheaper than ball caps, actually. You know what? I bet if you gave most crazy guys a good shampoo and conditioning rinse, their hair would just look like regular baseball player hair! WAIT A MINUTE I JUST SOLVED HOMELESSNESS! Have Crazy League, where crazy guys travel the country and play each other! It will work perfectly, because if one of the crazy guys starts to act <span style="font-style: italic;">super</span> crazy, the rest will be like, "COME ON ROGER WE MADE IT THIS FAR." Mr. Bear says this is called "group dynamics."Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7512085.post-31049956615457727952008-01-28T16:37:00.000-08:002008-01-29T00:24:20.296-08:00Ray is bummed out.Ray came by today! Usually it is pretty great to see him, because he always has a little piece of candy for you, or wants to bet on who can drop a magazine the fastest (they say he is nice to let me win, but I watch, and I think I win on purpose), only today it was not great to see him. I mean, I cared about him, because he is my friend, but he made me sad. He was not himself.<br /><br />He knocked on the door, then let himself in and walked through the house. No one was around but me. I asked if he would like to be Baked Potato Brothers, but he said he didn't want lunch and went out back. (I ate some Adam's Natural Peanut Butter from a jar Chris left by the furnace grate, don't worry.)<br /><br />I don't like to sin, but I climbed up on the kitchen counter to see what he was doing on the back step. He was just sitting there! I watched for a little more and I saw him getting even more mad. This is what he said:<br /><br />RAY: Jesus Christ. Who cares what shape America is. People are so used to god-damned [<span style="font-style: italic;">sorry!</span>] AMERICA shape that they gonna send me email all god-damned [<span style="font-style: italic;">sorry!</span>] day if America ain't the shape they familiar with. So WHAT if Florida don't get colored in no more? So WHAT if Florida is ocean color when I rule? THAT'S ASS [<span style="font-style: italic;">sorry!</span>] AS HELL! [<span style="font-style: italic;">sorry!</span>]<br /><br />ME: [IN MY IMAGINATION] It's okay, Ray! America can be any shape you want, as long as you hold onto your dreams! Shucks! What's in a shape, anyway? Shapes are just how things look and seem! <br /><br />RAY: Maybe I'll get a gmail account I can ignore. I don't know. How does a President even handle email. Probably has a bunch of folders set up, like by an aide.<br /><br />He picked at one of his toenails after that, and then he went home. He was as unhappy when he came as when he left. I didn't do a good job helping, but I didn't get a lot of tries.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7512085.post-41413609862981176322008-01-16T21:07:00.000-08:002008-01-16T21:26:21.847-08:00I said a hate word! Oh my gosh it is so terrible!Oh my gosh I got in so much trouble! I didn't know it was a cuss, I swear! I was just repeating what I heard two guys next door say when they were working on their cars! The one guy in the white no-sleeves shirt said a "nigger" was "giving him hell" recently, and his car friend said he "wasn't surprised"! I would never have said that word if I knew it was bad! They said it first!<br /><br />Everyone has been looking at me really meanly since I used this terrible word, and I cried six times so far. I didn't even use the bad word at anyone...I just said that since Cornelius hogged the bathroom all afternoon he was "being a real nigger."<br /><br />Everyone started yelling at me immediately and I broke into tears! I didn't know, honest everybody! Even the nicest people in the house hate me now! I even heard that Ray's mom was "crest fallen" when she heard the news!<br /><br />I wish I was dead. I am so horrible. I hope they get doctors to give me the operation that makes me idiotic.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7512085.post-79021536683567815612007-12-28T13:08:00.001-08:002007-12-28T13:25:47.147-08:00My Christmas Presents!I got the best Christmas presents! Oh my gosh everybody knew exactly what I would like! Here is a list of the stuff I got. <br /><br />1. A History of Critters ("non-fiction")<br />2. Dinner on Snowflake Mountain (I think this is a "fiction," but a lot of it could have happened)<br />3. Hardened Hams and Blackened Yams (a little book about ruined food)<br />4. Trevor! ("non-fiction")<br />5. Guide to the Loire Valley ("non-fiction," from Lyle, but Mr. Bear had signed his name in the front! How goofy.)<br /><br />I am so excited! It looks like I can do a lot of reading this year, and that will keep me from committing sins. Thank you everyone!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7512085.post-74433140231338850872007-11-21T12:00:00.001-08:002007-11-21T12:01:22.697-08:00Happy Thanksgiving 2007!<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPG1zl_NIR4zhxwV3M3zMA-L5c4QbUI-wAhJFkKH8HSmptL9e6xWhU6YjWsKtR4Oyq5PK0lFxmU7eP4aD8Mwt1jzFp5plb9b3iddtu1_ECQWo27Ut6Vzh0M27l4xoCetmRdRsv/s1600-h/bee_cause.gif"><img style="margin: 0px auto 10px; display: block; text-align: center; cursor: pointer;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjPG1zl_NIR4zhxwV3M3zMA-L5c4QbUI-wAhJFkKH8HSmptL9e6xWhU6YjWsKtR4Oyq5PK0lFxmU7eP4aD8Mwt1jzFp5plb9b3iddtu1_ECQWo27Ut6Vzh0M27l4xoCetmRdRsv/s400/bee_cause.gif" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5135386204239801138" border="0" /></a>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7512085.post-77357248069786258202007-11-08T18:53:00.000-08:002007-11-08T19:20:17.920-08:00A naked lady made Téodor crazy!Ray made Téodor look at a real naked lady all week long and now Téodor is crazy! His brain doesn't work! Mr. Bear sits with him all day and chooses good times to feed him soup (these can't be times when he's shaking). Ray feels really bad and even had Dr. Andretti hook him up to a machine that measures his heart rate and his Beats Per Minute. (The machine shows that Ray is doing fine, but his blood pressure is a little high.)<br /><br />It is neat that when people get sick everyone knows to chip in. Lyle went out and got extra whiskey, and I have a little bowl with a cold washcloth in it. Even Roast Beef is here (I called him because he really knows about nervousness), and he is playing some songs that are very important to Téodor on a little MP3 player. There is one good song right now where the singer sounds kind of sad...it is called Rocket Man.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7512085.post-17231182837639732462007-09-25T22:15:00.000-07:002007-09-25T23:38:41.495-07:00Dinner was Crummy!Mr. Bear made dinner and it was pretty crummy! He cooked Pants a Nella, and it was stupid! It was just stupid big bread pieces with not enough lettuce and meat and cheese and DINNER! He said it was from Italy but I say it was from Stupidanada! Stupid bread dinner with crummy not enough meat and cheese! Mr. Bear is <span style="font-style: italic;">gay! </span><span>Blee bla bloo blee blah bloo dah<br /><br /><span style="font-family: courier new;">[auto-save 08:29:52p]</span><br /></span><br />Oh my gosh I forgot to post this message and I am glad I did! It is maybe two hours later now and I just saw this on the computer screen. I should never have said that about you, Mr. Bear, and I take it all back a hundred percent. Thank you for feeding me waffles with peanut butter after I ran away from the table in sin. Thank you for forgiving my shrieks.<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Philippe.</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7512085.post-88142641354299759582007-09-13T21:25:00.000-07:002007-09-13T21:27:10.395-07:00They showed me how to make Jelly Bellies!There was a show on TV about how to make Jelly Belly jelly beans! I think I can even make them at home now! All you need is some sugar and a big spinny copper washing machine!<br /><br />Okay, I got the ingredients. You actually need "gelatine," and I think that's what Jell-O is. You also need lots of sugar, to add to the washing machine a little bit over time! I'll go get it started. Our washing machine is just regular metal, I hope that doesn't make a difference.<br /><br />Okay, I started the washing machine and poured in the Jell-O. Since the washing machine always tries to shoot out the water it's been using, I put a tennis ball and a bunch of tape over the hose where the water comes out. I also put some apples into the main washing tub, so the Jelly Bellies can be apple flavor. My favorite! (Almost.)<br /><br />BAD PROJECT NEWS 9:21PM<br /><br />Chris came into the laundry room to sniff and see if he had any underwear he could wear out to a nice dinner, and I guess he stepped in a lot of sticky, "fat" water. I think the machine overflowed? He said it ruined the feet of a lot of old furniture they have in the garage, and that he was also "super pissed-off" ["I am SUPER PISSED OFF! I AM <span style="font-weight: bold;">SO</span> PISSED OFF RIGHT NOW!!!"]. He even carefully took a wine bottle from the recycling, walked real slow out to the back yard, and then threw it as hard as he could against a soft hill of dirt. The wine bottle didn't break, so he breathed really loud out of his nose like Rocky and then went inside and sat in the bathroom for twenty-seven minutes. He turned magazine pages, not book pages. (Magazine pages crinkle more, book pages have a good soft sound.)<br /><br />So much for making jelly beans at home. I have to spend the rest of the night wiping up the garage, and it is pretty crummy in there. I can't even have music, Chris said. (Music might make me happy.)Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7512085.post-79379194583773228092007-08-22T19:23:00.000-07:002007-08-22T22:30:36.750-07:00I had a birthday!It was my birthday! I got lots of nice presents. Téodor gave me a big map of a cow that shows the cooking areas of the cow, and Roast Beef got me a wind-up plane that has a rubber band engine! Don't tell him but it isn't very good. It always goes crazy directions and crashes, even when I use a ruler to get everything straight. Please don't tell him. I know how he likes perfect stuff. <br /><br />Molly got me a FiberPower Lil' Knitter Kit! She says that most boys don't knit but that I am a special boy, so I can learn how. Knitting can actually be really useful! Molly said that when I learn to knit-1 pearl-2 (?) I can start making hats and she said I can even make a brown potato out of knitting! (The potato was my idea.) Then we had cake and we almost had ice cream but Téodor forgot to put his ice cream mixer part in the freezer over night so we pretended to run around in the back yard. Guess what! I won!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7512085.post-87076098498940797772007-08-14T18:46:00.000-07:002007-08-14T21:22:45.106-07:00Things are great! Hi!Things are great! The rich guy with the butt went away (the guy from next door, read last time), and it's gonna be fall soon! There are so many fun parts about fall. Malt-O-Meal with the special syrup that goes in a spiral on top...a hot mug of coco...and Flopsy goes away! Flopsy is a guy who you think is a lady, since his hair is all shaved off everywhere except where he has regular guy hair on his head! He wears sunglasses and a tiny cap and jogs really slow all day with his arms all floppy at his sides (he goes one way past the window in the morning and then comes back the other way at like two o'clock!). I watch him jog by each morning, and I am glad when he goes away the other direction in the afternoon. You should jog like you have bones in your arms! And you should not be shaved all over if you are a boy. That seems like a sin.<br /><br />Sorry to get so steamed. I guess I don't like guys with shaved bodies. Maybe I am turning Republican.<br /><br />Wait! Téodor says he thinks Flopsy is training for a Triathlon, or maybe even the Olympics! Oh boy! I am so proud of Flopsy. Many boys do not follow their dreams! He really has determination! I love Flopsy. I wish I could have his autograph. Maybe I'll put some paper and a pen on the sidewalk before the next time he jogs by. I wonder if he would want to talk to me? <br /><br />I guess I'm a Democrat after all! (Shaved guys OK)<br /><br />Love,<br />Philippe and I wish Flopsy was my friend.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7512085.post-50426525556395022002007-07-10T16:22:00.000-07:002007-07-10T23:33:45.131-07:00A guy with a butt is next door!It is nasty! The human man who is in his back yard next door is kinda plump, and older, and he is sitting at a picnic table thinking. He has jeans on like a lady wears (I think he's kind of rich) and you can see the top two edges of his butt! The crack of his butt is really wide, like wide enough to put a small red potato in, or a harmonica. Will my butt be like that when I am older? Maybe it's not actually the crack of his butt, but just some unlucky back muscles or extra plumpness that didn't fit in the pants all the way, and his fancy pants are making an extra butt. I don't think that the new kind of pants is such a good idea, for anyone.<br /><br />Oh, I shouldn't talk about this. It's probably a sin. I'll ask Mr. Bear which one, he knows the Bible pretty good.Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7512085.post-57326729348406087752007-06-18T16:58:00.000-07:002007-06-19T17:01:47.330-07:00I was wrong about celebrities!Boy howdy! Last time I did a blog I said all kinds of stuff about how celebrities should be stopped, and about how they get koo-koo on beer, but now I have a different opinion! <br /><br />My good friend Téodor watched some TV celebrity news with me and he said that everybody has the same problems as celebrities, only celebrities get focused on. Whoops! Sorry, celebrities. I was pretty bad to you, and if you want to, maybe we can play some make-up horseshoes together. I will dress nice in case anyone focuses on us. <br /><br />Also, it is good that Roast Beef is getting married to Molly! She is the nicest person and if she was related to me I would wish that she was my aunt. When ever I go over there she always asks if she can make me a grilled cheese. I am usually too polite to say yes but when I cave in she always makes a perfect crispy one! Roast Beef is very lucky. <br /><br />He is lucky!Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7512085.post-64555222395113025562007-05-07T18:46:00.000-07:002007-05-07T22:58:09.545-07:00Door to Door Pretzel Man!A pretzel guy came to the door! He was so nice. He was from Germany, but he didn't have a mustache and fat little boots. He was just a regular skinny young guy with a cap on and sneakers! His big soft pretzels were delicious, and he had a great "can-do attitude." Chris bought a bunch for everyone in the house because he was happy that he wasn't coughing for once (Chris has a pretty bad cold, and he keeps yelling at the dog for eating what comes out of his lungs onto the deck). Yum!<br /><br />Do you believe what celebrities are getting away with these days? They drive a car when they are koo-koo on beer, they lie to a judge, they even fly too much and pollute! Who's gonna put an end to this? It's time to band together and stop celebrities! Please call a radio show of your choice and say the same thing, <span style="font-style: italic;">street team!</span>Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7512085.post-27766720907608261572007-03-13T12:27:00.000-07:002007-03-14T00:46:36.163-07:00Beef Jerky!Who would ever guess that I would find so much beef jerky in a drawer! Not me, boy howdy! (I learned to say that from a TV puppet dressed like a freckly cowboy -- "boy howdy" is a good thing to say instead of "d****t")<br /><br />So I had all this beef jerky today and Lie Bot said it was what cowboys ate instead of steak! It seems that steak has "water weight" in it, which is hard for horses to carry around, and so they squashed raw steaks under their saddles as they rode, until the water got squeezed out. Then the steaks were ready to take on the trail! The younger cowboys had to do this chore, and there are some famous paintings of jerkyboys done by a painter named Freddie "Say Cheese For Six Hours" Remington! What kind of a name is that?! Anyhow, I bet it was neat to ride on a steak seat. I bet it felt as good as a waterbed! I bet a lot of jerkboys fell asleep and went right in the ditch!<br /><br />Can I have a waterbed? Oh, I'm sorry. That was rude of me. I had better quit sinning and asking the public for stuff. Sorry!<br /><br /><span style="font-style: italic;">Hail Mary, full of grace, how does your garden grow? </span><br /><br />Wait, no. Oh boy, I have to look it up again. Bye! Love you!<br /><br />-Philippe!-Unknownnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7512085.post-1169602078441494122007-01-23T17:21:00.000-08:002007-01-23T17:34:03.173-08:00Whoah! Saw a dog today!I saw a corgey dog! I'm not sure if that's how you spell it. He was little and fat and he was super nice. Usually I don't like dogs too much but this dog (Frederick Dumplington the Third) was pretty slow and he didn't have a lot of attitude. He was mostly just happy to see me and I have to say the same about him! I let him lick my arms and stomach for a while and then he went on his way. Phew was I glad that he did not get all crazy when I giggled! What a good boy.Unknownnoreply@blogger.com