Friday, October 25, 2013

Halloween is just about here!

Well, no one could be more excited than me about Halloween, and that is a fact! I don't know how you prove facts, but Lie Bot said that a fact is the difference between Wikipedia and Google. If you know what that means, maybe that is helpful.

Anyway! I haven't been up to too too much. Just getting ready for Halloween! I am going to be a vampire this year. Téodor said it wasn't "very original" to be a vampire, but who cares? How come a Halloween costume has to be original? Is anything even original any more? A lot of kids have dressed up a lot of times, and probably have tried everything. (Including a horse with a teapot for a head - I just thought of that.)

(I also just had the idea of a robot with tank tread arms.)

My costume is all figured out. I'm going to get plastic chomper teeth (just the plain normal kind, not pointy ones...I guess our town made those illegal because somebody got sued?), and instead of a cape (a strangling danger) I'll just wear a white collared shirt (Dracula always wears a white shirt). I can't get my hair to slick back like his because of the direction it grows, so I'll just comb it nicely, with a part. I wasn't really sure what kind of pants Dracula wears...they never show him getting dressed and choosing his pants in the movie, like with one long bony finger pulling them off of his dresser...so I will wear some nice blue dress pants my mom sent me. There you go: Dracula! Mwah! Ha! Ha! Your blood is curdled!

Uh oh. I feel a number one coming on, and the way things have been going lately, I'm not taking any chances. Bye! Love you a bushel and a peck and a hug around the neck!

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Christmas list!

Hi everybody! It's Christmas! I already made out my Santa list, and I hope you did too. Here's what I want! I hope it doesn't seem like too much. One of my Thanksgiving wishes was that I would not become a greedy guy.

1. A big green block of flower-arranging foam. Chris's mom brought some of this over on accident, and I loved it! It's a green crumbly brick that you can stick stuff into, and they used to use it in flower arrangements. I want to scrape at it with a spoon and make a nice hillside, with paths and maybe a small windey road. I could use tiny dots of toothpaste as sheep, and glue down rows of dark green yarn as crops!

2. Asparagus dinner. Asparagus makes your pee smell really funny, and I think it would be great if I ate a bunch of asparagus and used the bathroom right before everybody else had to use it (like after a movie). They would get miffed!

(This would not be too mean of a joke because the smell goes away pretty fast and nobody gets dirty.)

3. Nachos. I actually want nachos pretty bad, for some reason! I want them with melty restaurant cheese that stays melted, and not the store cheese that is only melty for like ten seconds. I also want them with perfect little chunks of tomato, and black olives, and a "dollop" (?) of sour cream in the middle on the top.

4. A hat with a pom-pom on top. I got to see an old-fashioned TV show called The Monkees yesterday morning before everyone woke up, and the main guy had a pom-pom hat! He was the coolest person I have ever seen!

I better stop the list here, so it doesn't look like I have the sin of greed. I don't really even think I'll get most of this stuff, but it's cool to dream! I love you!

_ _
_- P I I P E -_
h L P !

Saturday, November 29, 2008

Thanks Giving It's Friday!

Oh, boy! Téodor made the best Thanksgiving dinner! He let me make all of the rolls into different shapes before he baked them! I made one that looked like a bun, and one that looked like a dumpling, and one that looked just like a "river stone." He let Lyle make the gravy, and Lyle used to work at "a restaurant for gummers who hadda' have gravy on every [cussin'] thing," so you could tell that the gravy really was restaurant-good. It was light brown and had pepper flecks in it, just like in the picture.

Here is my list of things I was Thankful for that night! I was hoping we would go around the table and say our thanks, but we didn't, except when people would pass the salt or something, and just say the basic thanks.

PHILIPPE IS THANKFUL FOR!

1. Top Ramen. This is my new favorite food in the world! Lyle puts it in a Pyrex with some water and microwaves it before he leaves for work. I can get it out and eat it whenever! I like soy sauce on it, and peanuts, and ham chunks, and black olives.

2. My mom! You always have to be thankful for your mom. I have seen some pretty sad TV shows about moms who are "off the chain" and don't take care of their kids (but maybe they will someday). Anyhow, I don't think my mom was ever "off the chain," even for a second. My mom has always been pretty much "on the chain." I guess that is why I am polite.

3. Udon. This is like fat Top Ramen, so it is even chewier and more fun to eat. Sometimes I wonder if my favorite food would be a noodle as thick as a cucumber, and you just took one bite off of it at a time.

4. "Theory Noodle." Ray told me this is what any noodle you can explain but isn't real yet would be called. I am thankful that my big cucumber-size noodle can maybe be real some day!

I Love YouuuUUUUUU!

Thank YOUUUU

Philippe.

Friday, October 03, 2008

Lie Bot was around!

I just had a pretty weird talk with Lie Bot! I hadn't seen him in a while, but there he was, and since I always think it's a good idea to talk about the weather with someone you aren't sure what to talk about with (it's a trick I learned from this old Ollie and Hardy show where they lift a donkey up to a building), we talked about how it rained for the first time since summer!

+ ! + ! +

ME: What a lot of weather we've been having lately, Lie Bot!

LIE BOT: Indeed, little guy! You keepin' dry?

ME: I sure am! (Knocks on wood.) Say, how come we always sleep better when it’s raining?

LB: It’s because the humidity makes the air heavier, like a great big blanket that covers us everywhere, like how we felt inside our mothers before we were born. The sound of the rain falling is also like the steady thrum we heard inside their bellies.

ME: But you weren't born! You're a robot!

LB: The birth of a robot is actually a very misunderstood thing. It's not commonly documented. You see, a very simple robot — not unlike a gelatinous credit card — is suspended in a carbon-rich gel inside something that looks like a small hot water bottle. This casing is slid into a moisture-proof dual-flap bay in the mother and left for five days. Birthing robots have typically escaped cameras, but some grainy footage does exist of them squatting in corners, facing away from the lens, gently sliding the casing back out of themselves.

ME: Oh.

LB: So, you see, we actually do have mothers. Just not how you would prefer us to have them.

ME: Oh, no! I didn't mean that! I want you to be born however you were born! I don't have judgment!

LB: It's too late. I felt like you had judgment about me.

ME: No! Please don't!

LB: Well, I'll see what I can do. It might take six to eight weeks.

ME: Okay, I understand, but PLEASE see if it can be faster!

LB: I can only do so much, kid. I have to go now.

ME: Okay, goodbye! I am very sorry for what I said!

LB: I hope that's true.

- - -

So, I guess I'm on pins and needles until I see him again! I feel pretty bad about saying that he wasn't born. I know that it would really eat me up if people told me that *I* was never born.

XOXOX,
Philippe.

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Wednesday, July 30, 2008

How to make candy?

I figured something out! The best guys in the world, like the pioneers and Thomas Edison, didn't wait around for things -- they went and got them! I always want candy, so I decided to try and make my own. I was like, "Somebody cooks candy somewhere, so why can't I cook it here? It's just stuff." If it worked, I would always have a supply of fresh candy, mornin'-'til-night!

I decided to start with jelly beans, a pretty basic candy. We had jelly in the fridge, so I put some on a spoon and took a good long look at it. I thought to myself, what would turn this into a jelly bean? The answer was that it needed to be in kind of a hard bean shape. But how?

I thought about that problem, too, and decided that the freezer makes things hard. I put a bunch of little jelly nuggets on a plate and put it in the freezer for one hour. My "beans" stuck to the plate really bad and were not candy. I let myself say "rats" and put the plate in the sink.

I guess next I will just go ahead and try to make a candy bar. I will pour the wet chocolate into a rectangle space made out of books, and let it get hard. Maybe I will drop some chocolate chips into it. I'll let you know how it goes. I love you.

-Philippe!

Friday, May 30, 2008

I am Learning about Hobos.

I found a web site about hobos! These are little old guys with too long of old brown shoes, who jump on trains and "ride the rails." They are kind of like on a long camping trip, only they can never stop camping, or they will be homeless. They also have their own hobo way of doing stuff. They even have a hobo language! Here are some hobo words that I copied from the web site:

Frenchy: a French hobo
birds: chickens or flying birds
rake-rack tavern: a garden shed
biscuit shooter: a man so crazy that he shoots his own breakfast
finger makin's: any activity done with the fingers

I would like to be a hobo some day, but it looks like they can be kind of dangerous sometimes. Lots of people write that true hobos will only stick their middle finger up during really, really bad times, when they are "in a corner" and can't help it, but some also say that a few hobos can fly "off the handle" and stick their middle finger up even when just meeting you. I would need to learn karate, in case of a hobo like that.

Sunday, April 27, 2008

"French Fries was the case they gave me."

(That is kind of a quote from a song that Ray plays in his car when he drives up to our house.)

I guess I'm just lucky, because whenever anybody goes out in the car to get fast food for the house, I usually get most of the french fries from all the meals! Lyle gets his big Ultimate Cheeseburger, and Téodor gets his Jumbo Jack, and Mr. Bear gets his coffee and toasted bun, and I always get almost all of their fries! They always eat one or two to be polite, but then they pretty much always ask me if I would like the rest. This is super-good because I never have any money ever to get a hamburger, but I still get to be with the gang. Boy are things good around here! Roast Beef is out in his white car right now getting McDonald's for everybody, and I can't wait for my fries! I don't want to have an ego but I am going to get my special fork out ahead of time so I can twirl the fries around it like spaghetti! This dish is called Spaghetti Philippo! French fries on a fork, twirled around. Love you XO